You Might be a Car Modeler if…

 

  • Every third check is to a hobby store.
  • The UPS driver has your address memorized
  • Your model cars look better than your daily driver.
  • You’re on a first name basis with every hobby shop owner in your home town.
  • Your model car collection is worth more than your house.
  • Your model car collection takes up more space than your house.
  • You are on Revell-Monogram’s Christmas card list.
  • You just bought five model cars you will never build, but they cost just $5.00 each.
  • You miss your anniversary because it is on the same day as a big model car contest.
  • Your inventory is bigger than your local hobby shops.
  • You have an insurance policy on your model car collection, but not on the family silver.
  • You only consider purchasing a new car if there is a kit available so you can build a little on to match.
  • You are caught hanging around the fingernail polish display at your local drug store for no apparent reason.
  • Your car quits running due to a blown radiator hose and you are walking because you spent your last dime on some braided model radiator hose that cost twice as much as a real one.
  • You have a special account at your local hardware store just for flat black spray paint.
  • Your spouse threatons divorce over the modeling junk and your greatest fear is the realization that this is a community property state and you KNOW that she’ll sell her half of your collection for fifty cents apiece at her mother’s garage sale just for spite.
  • You can’t see the “wall” on your trophy wall.

by Tony Willing as it appeared in the Music City Modelers September Newsletter.

This column originally appeared in the Puget Sound Auto Modelers Association

          Newsletter Dec/Jan, 95-96


  • You read a model magazine with your morning coffee instead of the newspaper. (Submitted by: Joe Anderson)
  • You rather build than eat or sleep. (Submitted by: Joe Anderson)
  • When you have company come over you talk models and show them eveyone you have, so they quit coming to visit. (Submitted by: Joe Anderson)
  • You carry snapshots in your wallet of your models instead of the family. (Joe Anderson)
  • If you own more of Revell-Monogram than Revell-Monogram. (Submitted by Eric Hawkins)
  • When you go away on vacation or a business trip, the first thing you do when you get to your hotel room is find the yellow pages and start searching for local hobby shops. Tom Carpini
  • You cut yourself with an exacto, wrap it up in masking tape, and keep on working. TC
  • Your friend tells you about his new car and you ask “What scale is it ?” (true story) (Submitted by: Charlie Arsenault)
  • You have to add an addition to your house just for the storage of unbuilt kits.(Submitted by: James Cahill)
  • You know how to separate your finger and the super glue without losing a large chunk of skin. (Submitted by Clarence Young)
  • You have an email address that says you’re a “Modeler”. (Submitted by Dwayne Bressem)
  • You have Business Cards made out and they say Model Builder. (by Dwayne Bressem)
  • You don’t collect 1/24th diecast…cuz you can build ’em that size. (by Dwayne Bressem)
  • You blow your nose and notice your snot is the same color as the body you just painted. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
  • Your local hobby shop has your beeper number and pages you when something new comes in. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
  • Your wife threatens to divorce you if you buy one more model, and your first thought is, “I sure will miss her.” (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You take pictures of your significant other with her Holding a Model. (Submitted by Dwayne Bressem)
    • You cut your self with an X-acto knife, then you used Super glue to close it and keep on building. (Submitted by Dwayne Bressem)
    • You’ve ever had to explain to the cops just what the hell you were doing wandering through the parking lot with a camera and tape measure…!  (Submitted by Fred Haggard “Nighttrain”)
    • Your hobby dedicated Master Card billing is sent to a seperate address…!   (Submitted by Fred Haggard “Nighttrain”)
    • You can’t remember if you have a particular kit in the stash – so you buy a couple more……just in case ! (Submitted by Fred Haggard “Nighttrain”)
    • The word “dremel” means more to you than the words “honey we’ve got the house all to ourself..” (Submitted by Kris S. Seeley)
    • You have every issue of every model car magazine, and you have a special room dedicated to them. (Submitted by Damon Atherton)
    • Your sons middle name is Revell and your daughter in named Johan. (Submitted by Hugh H. Dudley)
    • If your local hobby shop runs low on inventory, and they call YOU for help till the next shipment arrives! (Submitted by Hugh H. Dudley)
    • You spent more money on one model car than on your real one. (Submitted by Justin Heagarty)
    • You’ve got scars on the soles of your feet from stepping on those darned toothpicks you keep dropping on the carpet (ouch!) (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You’re still working on a way to make realistic scale bugs for your models’ windshields and front grilles. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You calculate that you’ll have to live to be 137 to build all the unbuilt kits in your collection (and that’s only if you don’t buy anymore – like that’s gonna happen!) (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You go to sleep every night thinking about the projects you have in the works. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You have more surgical tools than a surgeon. (Submitted by Danny Music)
    • You find yourself at the grave (junkyard) of your past model car collection. (Submitted by Kenny Schabow)
    • Your browser bookmarks for model car sites number over 3000. (Submitted by Danny Music)
    • You have several large cookie sheets containing various model assemblies so you can sit in your recliner in front of the TV and work. (Submitted by Danny Music)
    • If your Grandfather tells you to grow up, altough you`re 25, and “-stop playing around with carkits” (true story) (Submitted by Andreas Madsen)
    • you’d rather build your models than watch hockey or football on a sunday afternoon! (Submitted by Rich Soucey, Jr.)
    • you go to Virginia to look at race cars and not your wife. (Submitted by Rich Soucey, Jr.)
    • you go to WINSTON CUP races to take pictures of the cars than watch the race itself! (Submitted by Rich Soucey, Jr.)
    • Jack Roush sends YOU birthday cards (well, we’ve only been to Mark Martin’s shop, oh, 20 times in 3 years?!?) (Submitted by Rich Soucey, Jr.)
    • YOU ONLY USE YOUR COMPUTER WHEN YOU NEED PARTS. (Submitted by CHARLES FLANNERY)
    • you started building a lot of model cars, but you never completed them…
    • you bought a 50’s model car with the intention of building a “moonshiner”…
    • the highlight of your fall calendar is the Novenber Hobby Show…
    • you go real car shopping armed with all the model car catalogues…
    • you invite your model car club to your house & you kick your family out…
    • you buy all the new paint colours, but you haven’t used the old paint yet…
    • your vacation is planned around a trip to Toledo & the NNL…
    • you go to the bathroom, armed with SAE, & you don’t come out ’til it’s finished…
    • you eat a party slab of pizza, play online casino nzd, & threaten anyone who asks for a slice…
    • your model car collection is in perfect order, but you can’t find the vacuum cleaner…
    • you drive 500 miles for a hobby shop, but tell your boss you can’t make a delivery to your  next door neighbour…
    • your TV is programmed to every car race & info show, but you can’t find the news…
    • you look at your timecard & paycheck as so many model cars…
    • your idea of grocery shopping is beer, pizza & 5 car magazines…
    • you promise your wife/girlfriend a night out on the town, & you end up at a car/hobby   show…
    • you move to a larger home just to have more model car space…
    • you go furniture shopping, & you come home with new shelving & a custom designed, glass front, back lit, dust proof cabinet…
    • you have more models than you could build in 10 lifetimes, but rush to the store to get that new gottahavit kit…
    • you go to an IPMS meet just to remind them that tanks,GP’s & plane were built by car manufacturers…
    • you look at a stock Model A sedan, & you picture it chopped, channeled & powered by a Chevy…
    • you drive through hell, high water, snow & wind to get to a meeting just to talk model cars & act silly…
    • you’re talking muscle cars, & someone mentions a turbo toyota, & you ram a 426 HEMI up his nose…
    • you plan all your work trips around hobby shops & diners…
    • you go to the nudie bar, & the feature dancer sticks her hooters in your face, & all you can think of is NASCAR… (Submitted by Howard Cohen of the Group 25 Model Car Builders)
    • you spend more money on a protection system for your model than you do your house.  (Submitted by Jai Johnston)
    • your wife buys you a building to build your models just to get the dining room table back. (Submitted by Brett Quinn)
    • you take more care on your models, than you do on yourself.  (Submitted by Gabriel Cubos Lopez)
    • your kitchen table looks worse than your garage. (Submitted by Mike Haniuk)
    • your family hasn’t seen you in weeks because you’ve gotta get your paint job just right and you just dont have time to go upstairs! (Submitted by Tommy L. Smith)
    • you really don’t get to work on your own model til after the kids are in bed because all of your time is spent helping them build theirs. (Submitted by Delare Hill)
    • you have pictures of model cars dancing in your head instead of sugar plums
    • you buy an entire kit for a couple parts. (Submitted by Matthew Burnett)
    • you have to use your detailed scale car as a referance to fix your daily driver. (Submitted by Matthew Burnett)
    • you have more paint than the local hobby shop. (Submitted by Ben Rader)
    • your model cars look better than your real ones. (Submitted by Ben Rader)
    • your car breaks down but you’re to busy working on your models to go fix it. (Submitted by Ben Rader)
    • you can’t sleep at night, because all you can think about is how you’re going to customize your new model car. (Submitted by Ben Rader)
    • you buy your son a model just like the real car he wants for his 16th birthday. [true story]
    • You bought a home computer so you could surf the CARS web site whenever you wanted to. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • you check for new models every time you go in a department store. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • The new Scale Auto arrives and you disappear into the bathroom for a couple of hours. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • you advance-order a copy of the Scale Auto contest annual, they show up at the local hobby shop first and you go ahead and buy a copy because you just gotta have it now! (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • your local hobby shop owner calls you “his favorite investor”! (Submitted by Robb Hindle)
    • you replace your computer’s wallpaper picture of your wife, daughter and dog with a picture of a ’53 Stude from the CARS gallery. (Submitted by Steve Jahnke)
    • all you do is sleep, eat, and work on your models (Submitted by Ben Rader)
    • You Build A Car Model To Get An Idea Of How You Want Your Real Project Car To Look, Then You Just Decide To Forget About Your Real Car Project !!!! (Submitted by Tim Haugh)
    • The lighting in your basement is more elaborate than Charlotte Motor Speedway’s.
    • Your kit collection is your most valuable asset. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You schedule your vacations around model contests. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You use Future floor wax for everything but waxing your floors. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • Your wife won’t let you spray paint in the house, so there you are outside, on a cold winter day … (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You painted your house to match your new “1970 Chevlle Street Rod.” (Submitted by: Michael Lirette)
    • your wife takes up building to spend time with you. (Submitted by: James Bush)
    • you kit bash an extremely rare kit to get the correct grill for the model of your 1 to 1 car. (Submitted by: James Bush)
    • Wal-Mart has your car towed off, thinking it’s been abanded. (Submitted by: Mike (Sporto)Muckenfuss)
    • When you die you want your ashes to be put in a MPC box and put on a shelf of unfinished models. (Submitted by: Mike (Sporto)Muckenfuss)
    • You scratch your car and you can’t choose between the three colors of your car that look alike. (Submitted by Bob Jernigan)
    • All the local hobby shops have your e-mail address phone# and aol screan name. (Submitted by Bob Jernigan)
    • You go to all the hobby shops in town to take inventory. (Submitted by Bob Jernigan)
    • Your models run better than your real car. (Submitted by Bob Jernigan)
    • You can paint a killer sceam on a model, but draw it in your dreams. (Submitted by Bob Jernigan)
    • All your wallets mass is the phone# of every hobby shop in the country. (Submitted by Bob Jernigan)
    • Your Mommy takes your models then throws them all out and you blow up in her face and don’t talk to her  for a month. (Submitted by Bob Jernigan)
    • your first aid kit is made by testors. (Submitted by Kris Seeley)
    • you have ever got a custom pinstripe idea from a scale model decal sheet. (Submitted by: Donald W. Bayconich)
    • Your wife comes back from one hour photo mad, because the pictures she thought were suppose to be of the dream vaction were all pictures of cars at 100 different angles.(Submitted by: Cory Schlesinger)
    • They wont get sideswiped when you leave them parked in front of your house. (Submitted by Justin Santos)
    • you have the scale model of your own car on the dashboard of the real thing, and everybody that sees it asks you where you found a model of your car exactly. (Submitted by Stan Jacobson)
    • your houseguests get high when they walk through the door.
    • you build your first model car from sheet metal & wire made of silver & 14k gold because you cant buy a kit for the model you want. (Submitted by: Darren Cole)
    • YOU’RE A BACHELOR AND YOU OWN A THREE BEDROOM HOUSE WITH A FULL BASEMENT …..YET YOU SLEEP ON THE COUCH BECAUSE OF THE MODEL CARS TAKE UP THE RSET OF THE HOUSE. ( Submitted by Scott Bedell)
    • Your wife packs you a sack lunch before you leave to go to the local hobby shop (Submitted by: Harold Sullins)
    • When your wife sets you out at the model shop, she asks what time the store closes.  (Submitted by: Harold Sullins)
    • People find pictures of your models on the Web and think they’re “real” (as in 1:1) cars. (Great editorial, Bob Downie)! (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • Your wife tells you she wants to convert your model room to a nursery for the new baby because there’s no other space in the house, and you tell her you’ll have to think it over (true story).
    • You’ve ever gone to an important business meeting with paint on your hands. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You’ve ever tried to remove the top from a bottle of super glue with your teeth. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You’ve ever wound up with super glue in a place where it was definitely never intended to be (see above). (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • Your co-workers think you’re strange because you play with “toys.” (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • You’ve ever traded shifts with a co-worker so you could attend a model contest. (Submitted by Ken Hart)
    • you walk into a hobby shop and everyone yells your name like they do Norm on Cheers. (Submitted by Jai Johnston)
    • your home is divided up as such, 25% built cars,25%unbuiltcars,25%parts dept.,20%work area,and 5% for the family (Submitted by Jerry Santora)
    • You will not run the vacuum cleaner for fear of sucking up that part you droped last month! (Submitted by: John J. Archambault “Da Frenchman”)
    • you work on your latest model project while on break at the office. (Submitted by: Russell Piotrowski)
    • everytime you go to a local hobby shop,dollar signs appear in the owners eyes,and you can see him thinking.”It’s gonna be a great day” (Submitted by: Steve Cooper)
    • You refer to all full size cars as the 1:1 version (Submitted by: Aaron Meury)
    • You call off sick from work so you can stay home and work on your models. (Submitted by Richard j.Chaffee)
    • You leave home and any one wanting to contact you calls the Hobby Shops first. (Submitted by Eric Duncan)
    • If you treat your cars better than your children. (Submitted by Michael Yule)
    • Your wife is upset because the new baby,s room is not as big as the new hobby room. (Submitted by Duane Wilson)
    • YOU HAVE MORE MODEL CARS THAN YOU HAVE HAIR ON YOUR ARMS . (Submitted by RICKY MCINTYRE)
    • You laugh your self silly reading these jokes and your wife just shakes her head and “tsks” (Submitted by Eric W. Sprague)
    • you’ve ever ordered parts for your real car from revell-monogram
    • you’ve ever touched your real car up with model car paint
    • you’ve ever broken a windsheild and though sure youd have to buy a big piece of glass with all the windows(like model cars)
    • if you have a replica of your daily drive mounted on the dash
    • if you’ve been divorced because your cars got more attention than your wife did
    • if you’ve ever tried to repair your real car with plastic cement
    • if your restoring a real muscle car and call testors to buy paint
    • if you use PPG paint products on a model car
    • if you buy use tire wet on your model car
    • if you wax your models more than your real car
    • if your car goes directly to the nearest hobby store when you turn it on
    • if you build a new house and have a room designated for model car building
    • if the above mentioned room is the biggest room in the house
    • if youve ever tried to make a part to fix a real car oput of the scrap plastic from a kit
    • if you havent seen your floor since the day the carpet was laid
    • if you actually read pages like this (Submitted by Jonathan Absher)
    • if you have ever dreamed of how your model is going to look……then…..after the dream at 5:00 in the morning……you get up and do the painting/custom work you dreamed about. (Submitted by  Marcus Jennings)
    • my wife doesn’t make me sell one I already have to buy another one. (Submitted by Randall Floyd)
    • you have more scar tissue than finger prints (Submitted by Scott Imboden)
    • You don’t know you’ve cut yourself until you see blood on the model! (True Story!) (Submitted by Justin Santos)
    • YOU TALK YOUR WIFE INTO GOING TO A MODEL SHOW ON “HER” BIRTHDAY {TRUE STORY} (Submitted by Tim Daniels)
    • YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS HAS CAR AND MODELER IN IT !!!!!!!!!! (Submitted by Tim Daniels)
    • IF YOU MAKE YOUR WIFE BUY FINGERNAIL POLISH SO THE CASHIER DOESN’T LOOK AT YOU FUNNY {SUBMITTED BY TIM DANIELS}
    • You go to the hobby shop for one small bottle of paint, and end up spending over $100.00 (True Story, and my wife helped me pick things out too boot!) (Submitted by Jerry Sutton)
    • you don’t go to THAT department store anymore, because they stopped selling models… (Submitted by Duke Douglas)
    • you’re on your fourth dremel tool, but you still have your first hammer…. (Submitted by Ed Huenemann)
    • you are a primary stockholder in a new company called “Helping Hands, Inc”. (Submitted by Ed Huenemann)
    • If you’ve ever drove yourself (and everyone else in the house) half nuts running outside to your 1:1 car constantly to make sure you’ve got the contours just right on the model your scratch building. (Submitted by Scott M. Taylor)
    • I’ve put a small engine in a 1955 prostreet model (49.99) to enter model drag races.I’m only 12 years old. (Submitted by Tommy G)
    • you go to cruise nights with a camera and afterwards go to the hobby store to buy kits to recreate half the lot you just saw (Submitted by: Damon Landrum)
    • YOUR WIFE HIDES HER EMERY BOARDS AND NAIL POLISH FROM YOU (Submitted by Rick Doran)
    • your nickname on Ebay is “Builder”….. (Submitted by Jim Nowlin)
    • You can turn a modest little 1970 road runner into a mean street machine, for only a few bucks and some glue. (Submitted by Mike Dolata)
    • your model cars look better than the one you really own
    • you buy models instead of groceries. (Submitted by Tyler Christensen)
    • If you’ve ever carried lists of the model cars you want, the parts you need for the kits you’re working on NOW, the kits you’re going to buy, and how much they’re going to cost…all in your back pocket. (true line)

(Submitted by Damion Sawyer)

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